Social Media and me – in times of Corona
Many people have noticed that since December I have completely withdrawn from all social media platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, VK even earlier). Considering how active I was there and how many hours I invested in postings and debates, this might be astonishing. I even considered myself a "social media addict" and it was a real blow every time Facebook banned me again for 30 days for ridiculousness or Instagram even immediately terminated my entire, very successful account for lesbian kissing (bigoted scumbags!). Caroline R. Ubber and social media seemed to be an inseparable symbiosis, despite all the sex-hostile reporting pussies and hyperactive algorithms.
In the early days of my Corona-induced isolation, Facebook in particular was a very important medium for maintaining my mental balance, feeling connected to others, and distracting myself. But with each passing month, I felt more and more how essential the balance between my real-life escapades and the virtual social media world was for me. The more I lived only the virtual side of my life, I increasingly found it bland and unsatisfying. I also felt this by increasingly giving space to my anger and frustration about the situation and "spewing out my anger". While this was a great outlet in the beginning, at some point it became a mirror of my frustration and thus counterproductive and even harmful.
In addition, I found myself online more and more often compelled to explain my situation in the pandemic and also increasingly defend myself against hostility. Of course, there are millions of people who are much worse off than I am! I am only too aware of this and I think it is terrible what is happening in the world! I would like nothing more than that all people can live happily and contentedly and in harmony with each other! But all this does not help me when it comes to my own situation and a psyche. Every person is different. I have unbelievable talents, but also weaknesses and a sensitivity, against which I can do only little or steer it. If I had simply settled for what I was and had years ago, I would never have become the wild, dazzling creature I was allowed to be (until early 2020).
And the more often I felt compelled to explain myself, the greater the pain became. And since I always present myself very openly, with all my strengths and weaknesses, it would not have been an option for me to show only the light facets of myself on social media and pretend that everything was fine. Because it isn't. The only winners of the crisis are, of all people, those whom I always saw as "gray functional masses" and whose lives consisted primarily of functioning. For me, that is existing, but not living. And I want to live - real and in harmony with other wonderful people, whom I can feel, smell, taste, kiss and fuck and who give me the feeling that life is a completely unbelievably great miracle!
I really appreciate a lot of people I only know from Facebook (and got to know many of them in real life at some point, which was almost always magical), but unfortunately it can't replace real contact with other people for me. I need the sensation of feeling someone else for real, their charisma and energy. And the more I kept contact only on Facebook and Twitter, the more I felt the loss of what is the elixir of life for me. That's why I decided to go cold turkey. And it actually did me good, because it finally made me aware of what really counts for me in life: real, intense togetherness!
I hope you don't take offense at my decision to withdraw from the social network until clubs and studios open. I'm just special in many ways - and that's exactly what makes my current incarnation so passionately lived. And I will certainly be active on Facebook & Co again, when I can finally be Caroline R.Ubber, Mistress Chauve and simply Carolin again in Real Life.
Stay healthy all - especially on the psyche! I send you a lot of love and hope!
In this section:
In this section:
Why I of all people write a blog about passion, sex and everything around it? Because until a few years ago I myself was still incredibly clueless, preferred to put myself in cuddly dream worlds and was a sweet, yet inconspicuous sexually almost completely inexperienced cutey.