Deutsche Version

BDSM in film and media


Since I have been presenting fetish and SM feature films from my collection for my blog for some time now, I thought it appropriate to take a look at what the market is currently offering in this regard after a long time... As expected, I was quickly disillusioned.  If the posters and covers partly still make curious or even appetite (Dogs Don't Wear Pants - Finnish: Koirat eivät käytä housuja), then the descriptions and catchwords sober me nevertheless fast again. Although I will probably watch "Dogs Don't Wear Pants" out of pure aesthetic curiosity, despite the fact that the look of the Dominatrix actress already makes me suspect that the film will probably not convince me*.

Drama, destruction, downfall, abyss, abuse, brokenness, psychosis....

So once again it shows exactly the image that the unknowing masses carry in their heads about fetish and BDSM: Whoever does something like this must either be a miserable, broken creature, or a selfish abuser who compensates for his own abuse and hurt this way. Exactly. And sex is something very bad anyway, which one should actually overcome as a modern person. Who has pleasure in casual sex and pain and humiliation, is just monster or victim and belongs in any case in therapy (LOL).
 

Dogs don´t wear pantsDominatrix of inner emptiness: Dogs Don't Wear Pants | © SF Film Finland

How deeply rooted in "normal people" these prejudices and disgust towards the fetish and S&M world are, I experienced in many dialogs with my mommy, to whom I unfortunately could never convey how fulfilling and happy my dom/sub relationship with my master was.  She did not want to know, rather celebrated the images and prejudices that Yellow Press had awakened in her. But I also didn't want to keep quiet about what I was living, because hiding was never an option for me.  Unfortunately, I also had to experience again and again in dealing with the environment (friends and acquaintances, web agency) that my friendly openness was met with pure rejection.

And I certainly didn't peddle intense details or force them on anyone. But I did openly answer questions when someone showed interest - which was then all too often used to blaspheme behind my back about what a horrible person I am because I "do that". A little bitterness has remained there. Nevertheless, even today I still try to convey how wonderful the worlds of kink, hedonism, fetish, SM and BDSM can be. And I am only too aware that this makes me an exciting and dazzling person, but not someone with whom one can maintain really close contact over a long period of time. Lession learned - walking through the Gate to a better kinky World ?

Of course, the BDSM world is not always wonderful, dazzling and uplifting. But a lot of the negative things that happen there have to do with the fact that the scene is pushed underground by the "normals". I remember well how much courage it took for me to come out with my S&M fantasies.
 

SecretaryCarnival of the lost: Secretary | © Lions Gate Films

Fortunately, I had a therapist (who was also a sex therapist) who encouraged me: "I could well imagine that in your case this is exactly the right course of action for you". And I had the incredible luck that many of my friends and acquaintances from back then also revealed themselves to me and some of them were actually active S&M party-goers. So then I didn't have to search my way alone with dubious online acquaintances, but was taken by the hand. The rest is wonderful history ?

Because browsing through the relevant range of films always triggers these unpleasant experiences and memories, I do it so rarely. And now I'm just writing some righteous anger off my chest. Nuff said!

In any case, I feel encouraged to continue presenting only those films here that appeal to me personally - even if there are obviously very few of them. Tips can be posted in the comments, I'm happy about that. As well as about constructive-critical debates by means of the "comments-function.

Mistress Chauve

 

*Whoever now insinuates that I wouldn't give a film a chance because I dismiss it as bad from the start, thoroughly misjudges me. It even happens very often that films I approached with low expectations completely thrilled me, whereas too high expectations are often disappointed. I generally form an opinion very quickly, but I am also extremely quick to revise it.

Comments:

Na Dine wrote on 27. April 2021 at 01:13:

... hätte ich nicht besser schreiben können ... BDSM im Film wird meist als Krankheit dargestellt ... dein Therapeut ist wirklich ien Glücksfall ... so viel in der Psychotherapie geht nur darum Menschen normal und angepasst zu machen ... dir weiterhin frohes Schreiben :-)

  • Mistress Chauve answered on 27. April 2021 at 13:34:

    Herzlichen Dank für den schönen Kommentar, Na Dine. Ich bin wirklich glücklich, dass ich ihn damals hatte (er ist inzwischen im wohlverdienten Ruhestand) und bin ihm noch immer sehr dankbar für sehr vieles 😇


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