My S&M and fetish movie tips
Since BDSM is a world of incredible diversity and tastes, it is hardly surprising that films of this "genre" are also of incredibly different types and quality. What fascinates and excites some, is for others just absolute pleasure killer and no-go.
So far, very few films in the SM spectrum have convinced me, with the hyped (relative) mainstream films in particular completely failing to have an effect on me. It would be pointless to say much about "50 Shades of Grey", because this inflated glossy fairy tale with an abuse background really has nothing in common with my S&M world. Apart from the indeed chic aesthetics of the playroom, the world depicted there has absolutely nothing in common with the one I live in. Another movie that - in contrast to many BDSM fans - gives me nothing at all is "Secretary". In my eyes, this film is the sad story of two completely empty people who only find a little support in life through clichéd gimmicks.
Personally, I find it regrettable that in many films with an S&M context, the protagonists are portrayed as broken, tragic figures who seek to compensate for their inner emptiness through sensation seeking. As understandable as this view may be for outsiders of people who voluntarily squeeze themselves into sweaty rubber, torture themselves, humiliate themselves, parade themselves and allow themselves to be modified, this limited way of thinking is also wrong and stigmatizing (as is the idea that someone would be a better person because they are religious). Of course, there are non-conforming assaults and violations in BDSM as well - just like in any other way of life; it's just that elsewhere the finger is not pointed in such a pejorative and prejudiced way and psychological defects are assumed across the board.
This mixture of being annoyed by the pathologization of S&Mers and fetishists on the one hand and being embarrassed by many of the clichés that are rolled out there, has also led to the fact that I only relatively rarely buy such a film. So definitive classics like " S&M Judge" are still missing in my collection, but that should change little by little.
For me, on the other hand, BDSM was and is a cosmos of larger-than-life feelings and infinite possibilities that can be explored and lived in fascinating and, for outsiders, sometimes terrifying ways. For me, rituals and aesthetics are merely building blocks of my S&M world - significant and exciting, but not a pure end in themselves.
Just the overcoming of boundaries and fears, the emergence of completely new fantasies, needs, passions and fetishes, the constant transformation of one's own personality, is for me the truly fascinating thing about BDSM. And even more important: the sensual merging with the partner, up to the session trance, when the boundaries of the normal world are blown up.
To many who call themselves S&Mers, these thoughts will probably always remain foreign; I therefore also rather call them "kinky players" who spice up their sex life with a little pain and fetish paraphernalia. And lest anyone misunderstand me: I love the world of "Kinky Play" too, but it's just not what I mean by BDSM, or even D/S.
But since I prefer to write about what I like, and thus arouse interest in others for it, rather than to tear down what I do not like, I will report here (for the time being?) only about films that inspire me myself. And that also means: These films will certainly not please everyone, because my passions and fetishes are just as intense as they are special.
A rating scheme with asterisks or so will not be with me by the way, just read my opinions 😉
PS: Why I have a hard time with BDSM movies, you can read here at my thoughts 💋
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Why I of all people write a blog about passion, sex and everything around it? Because until a few years ago I myself was still incredibly clueless, preferred to put myself in cuddly dream worlds and was a sweet, yet inconspicuous sexually almost completely inexperienced cutey.